Don't you send me to vm
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
