Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
