I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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