god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I can't turn off my feet"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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