i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
