What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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