Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
