Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
