Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
