i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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