What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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