He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
