Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
