How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
