you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
