The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
