My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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