oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize