I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I need to sanitize my soul.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
