It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
