So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
