Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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