I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
