It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
