wrigley field is MILF paradise
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
