It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
