Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize