im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
