There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
