just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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