I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
