I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Randomize
