People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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