i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's blow job season.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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