Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
