I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
