That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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