she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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