Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
