i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
