Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
