I just pynch a tree in the face
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
