if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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