genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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