Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
