i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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