New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize