why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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