So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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