before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize