I only kidnapped one of them. chill
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
