So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
