I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
