I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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