Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize