Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
