So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
