I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He? As in you personified your dick?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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