So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
