Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
