Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
