how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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