Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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