u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
