Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There's always time for handjobs
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
