would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
