Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
