Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize