Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
