And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize