I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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