ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
