The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
as a side note pls kill me
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
