I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
