is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
