I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize