his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
